Breaking Self-Sabotaging Thoughts

Guilt shows up in many ways. Maybe some of these look familiar to you – beating yourself up for past choices. Mistakes or imperfections. Feeling as though you can never do enough. Paying more than you have to. Saying “yes” when the best answer is “no.” Letting others guilt-trip you. Allowing others to repeatedly overstep boundaries. Going along with dysfunctional behavior as though it’s normal. Not speaking up when you need and want to. Feeling indebted indefinitely to someone who did you a favor.
 
Whether it’s the persistent voice of the enemy reminding you of expectations you haven’t lived up to, or the mistake you still haven’t forgiven yourself for, never forget that false guilt can have you playing a broken record of self-sabotaging thoughts. Holding our happiness hostage is a dangerous and debilitating record we play over and over in our heads.
 
This is tiring and agonizing, and it’s not God’s way for you! It’s the enemy’s plan, according to Jesus, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; but I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
 
God wants you to live in His grace. He wants you to reset your expectations so you can finally let go of guilt and shame! There is no faster way to undo your guilty feelings than to adjust your expectations of yourself and make sure they are aligned with God’s expectations of you.
 
Here are some examples of unhealthy expectations:
 
Vague Expectations. The vague expectation sets you up for guilt because you can’t really measure the results. For example, you should do more. Well, how much is more? And what should you do exactly?
 
Outdated Expectations. Whether the life-change is a new job, a relationship change, a financial change, a health change, a move, or anything else that shifts how your life operates, you’ll set yourself up for guilt if you hold on to old expectations in a new season. Give yourself some grace.
 
Others’ Expectations. Sometimes what others want isn’t what you want, and for sure isn’t what God wants for you.
 
When it comes to expectations, it is soothing to remember these two truths: Until you accept and embrace the unique life God created you for, you’ll feel guilty for not living the life you think others expect of you. And then, you cannot accept and embrace God’s unique life for you if you don’t truly believe God created you for a purpose — a purpose that may look different from those around you.
 
God bless you!
 
Pastor Paul